So BE was issued his flightsuit, helmet bag, and flight bag yesterday. Not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but I am really torn as to how to feel about it. He is so so excited, and I want to be that excited for him, but a part of me has hit a new level of terror now that it feels "real". I had tried to get him to not go to OTS and stay with me and get a "normal job" way back in the day when we were first together. My biggest fear of all time is airplanes, in general. I have to be heavily medicated to even go near an airport, even to pick someone up. Being that close to a plane makes me super nervous (I think God is probably STILL laughing at the irony of making the man I was destined to marry a flyer). After he explained to me that he wouldn't feel fulfilled in his life unless he served his country, and this was really in his heart how he felt called to serve, I realized that I had to put my personal preferences aside and support him regardless. I have no place keeping him from his dreams, and when friends of mine ask me how I live with the fear of someone showing up at the door to tell me he had been killed, the response I give them is that I would rather him die at 25 knowing he was happy with what he was doing and felt like he was answering God's calling for his life and had no regrets than to have him die at 100 years old an unhappy businessman who hated his job and felt like he had never really made a difference in the world because he had sacrificed a dream because I was a scaredy-cat. Not going to lie, that doesn't make the fear totally go away, but it helps. I like seeing him happy, and I like seeing him happy with his job. Not many people can say they love their job. But seeing that flight suit hit me like a lead brick. It was that moment of "oh my gosh, this is really happening," and I froze up. I wanted to celebrate with him and ooh and aah over it, but my fear really gripped me. Has anyone else ever had a moment like that?
Anyway, the "man-grill" (as it has been officially dubbed) is now taking up half of our garage lol. BE refuses to put it outside until we find a cover for it, so he's parking his car outside instead LOL. Boys. So I've been promised a steak dinner tomorrow, and I'm pretty excited about it! I also just got a coffee grinder, and I love it! It really does make the coffee taste fresher, and I thought all that stuff was just a way to get you to spend money on their product. But it was sooooo good! I'm a believer. I'm also debating whether I should combine my two blogs (I have another one for family recipes) or just leave the food one a separate thing... thoughts? Well, love ya'll, I'm gonna go help the hubs do dishes :)