Thursday, October 25, 2012

Another Blog Fail

yet another blogger fail....
I'm coming to realize I'm terrible at keeping up with this thing,
but it's hard to have the heart to let it go
since it's our whole struggle all in one place
and helps me to look back and be grateful.

I can't believe it's been almost a year since we were labeled as infertile
and now we're 8 weeks away from welcoming our baby boy into the world.
I still cry when I think about it,
mostly because I'm amazed that it happened,
but also because I still know so many people out there trying.
It's weird to be on this side of it all.
Now I know how friends of mine felt who had been in my shoes and then gotten pregnant,
how even as happy as you are you feel angry too
that other people are still struggling all around you.
It seems so unfair.
I also feel blessed though that I had that struggle,
because there hasn't been a day that I've taken this pregnancy for granted,
I'm so much slower to complain about anything pregnancy-related,
and I've taken more joy in little things than I have about anything else in my life.

I hope that I'm doing my friends proud
who are still out there praying and hoping and dreaming;
I hope that they know how much I appreciate this,
and how I still pray daily on hands and knees for them to have the same.
I've recently had two very good friends who had been trying finally learn they are pregnant,
and I'm hoping to hear of more. 

This baby has been my saving grace,
my catapult back into my faith,
my determination to become a better person overall,
and the beautiful product of my marriage.

So, I continue to wait for Christmas Eve,
when our son will be born
and I'll finally hold him in my arms.
And don't worry,
the irony of his due date isn't lost on me ;)