Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Just Rambles

I'm mostly writing
 because I want to win the giveaway today
for an Air Force sign!
 They are so cute.
 So no offense, but I'd rather none of you enter
 so I can win :)
 as if there weren't a million people already entered.
 Oh well,
 maybe this will be my first giveaway win?
 Who knows!
She is running a giveaway every day this week as part of...

So go over and enter some giveaways
 (just not this one) ;)

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

the Cream of the Crop

I am constantly reminded
 just how blessed I am
 to have met all the wonderful people out there
 through having this blog.
 No matter where in the world we are,
 there are people out there who know exactly what we are going through
 at any given time,
 and can help pull us up and encourage us.
 And that's exactly the experience I have had.
 Today I was so honored to see that I was the recipient of 
 Bloggy award!
 A big thank you to Janessa over at
 for thinking of me!

 So now I get to share some fun stuff!
 The rules are:
 1. Thank and link back to the person who gave the award to you
 2. Share 7 things about yourself
 3. Send it along to 15 other bloggers and let them know you have awarded them!

 7 things about me...
 1. I met my husband on a dating website
 2. The single best thing I did in college was adopt my dog from the pound
 (against my mother's wishes)
 3. I am obsessed with Taste of Home magazine
 4. We have been unsuccessfully trying for a baby for 6 months now
 5. We are big Red Sox fans (even though neither of us are from Boston)
 6. I am closer to my grandfather than any other member of my family
 7. I am really excited that we live in a neighborhood now and will actually have Trick-or-Treaters this year!!

 And now, I pass this award along to....
 1. the Adventures of a Bee & a Dragonfly
2. Fearlessly Infertile
3. Fort Living Room
4. Chambanachik
5. While I'm Waiting
6. Tiaras and ACU's
7. The Johnston's
8. Mrs. Alana's Miscellany
9. Our Crazy Life
10. The New "Normal"
11. Letters To You
12. I'm His Wife...The Army Is His Mistress
13. To Love A Soldier
14. Goodnight Moon
15. A Few of My Favorite Things

 Not all of these blogs are "new,"
 or even new to me -
 but they're some that I make sure I read,
 and ones that I love,
 whose writers I love :)
 Here's to you ladies!!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Totally New Tuesdays #7

Hello again everyone!!

 The hubs and I had a GREAT first official "date day" Saturday -
 we went over to Mobile, AL and visited the USS Alabama,
 which was super cool!
 I took lots of pictures
 so those will be coming soon :)
 We held hands,
 talked nonstop,
 and were obnoxiously, disgustingly in love the whole time.
 It was great.

 Now, on to the theme for today -
another new bloggy friend of mine for you all to go shower with affection
 and fan-dom!!
 She calls herself the Princess,
 and blogs about family life with her hubby and daughter "Diva".
 Her posts make me laugh and are always so 
 true life!

 Check her out HERE
 at her blog "Tiaras & ACU's".
 Here she is to tell you a little more:
 "Hello!  I am a sweet (sarcastic), angelic (little devilish) Army Princess; Hubby just got home from a 15 month deployment followed directly by ALC.  We have a little 7 year old (7.5 if you ask her) Diva that rules the roost... in her mind that is.  I am very active with military widows, work full time, and spend my weekends saving the world.  I started my blog to get through the deployment, oh we are a Reserve family so I don’t know anyone that has EVERY dealt with a deployment.  I love getting to know other bloggers, writing... and just enjoying our West Coast sun.  Now that Hubby is home the world revolves around the nasty ‘R’ word, Reintegration."

Go show her some lovin'
 fit for a Princess!!
 Also, don't forget,
 if you are a blogger who would like to spread the word
 about how AWESOME you are,
 send me an email at
 so that I can feature you!
p.s. You also get to display the super cool button I have in my right-hand column
once you've been featured.
 Now that's a perk if I've ever seen one.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

How To "Date" Your Own Husband

So this past week has been pretty rough.
 But it's also been pretty darn great.
 This might be a long post,
 so grab your pumpkin spice latte
 (come on, we all know you've already caved this season)
 and curl up.

 I was not a Christian before I met my husband.
 I attended church,
 even taught Sunday School,
 but was not truly a Christian.
 My husband always has been.
 The night before he left for Officer Training School
 he got re-baptized with me
 just the two of us at our church.
 It was the first for me.
 Since then, I have struggled.
 Struggled to maintain and even grow my faith,
 especially when I thought OTS was going to rip my marriage clean in two
 (and which it very nearly did)
 mostly because of my bad attitude. 
 When he left for the second time,
 it was better.
That time, I didn't blame him.
 Even when I dropped him off at the airport
 and on the way home my very faithful car died in the middle of the street.
 Or the next day when I thought I accidentally forgot the parking break on his mustang
 and was sure it had rolled back into our garage door,
 which was why it wasn't opening.
 And my keys were now locked inside
 because of course the garage door keypad had gone haywire.
 And I called a locksmith
 who took an hour to get into my house.
 And when I then tried to re-enter my garage code,
 and the door opened right up.
 Yep, not even then.

 And then we started trying for a baby,
 and that's been a less than perfect journey.
 But we decided to take some time out of his incredibly busy schedule
 and do a Bible study together
 for the first time.
 Our AMAZING friends/neighbors gave us Fireproof.
 We watched the movie and did week one's lesson.
 I didn't realize my husband was this smart.
 Let me elaborate
 (before you think I'm a total jerk).
 Being a new Christian,
 I suffer from interpreting the Bible EXTREMELY literally.
 And I often way way way get it wrong.
 We were instructed by the study to read a passage,
 the one that talks about how God knows every hair on your head and knew you when you were being formed in your mother's womb;
 how we were fearfully and wonderfully made.
 Well, I turned to BE in a fit of residual baby-anger
 and said,
"Well, see, women were meant to have babies. Otherwise Adam wouldn't have needed Eve.
 So if a woman can't have a baby,
 then obviously God messed up.
 If we are all made in His image,
 none of us should be messed up.
 So that doesn't even make sense."
 To which my wonderful husband replied,
 "No, no. You're missing the point.
 Women were made to be companions -
 the man was not supposed to be lonely,
 so God made him a helper, a friend, a companion.
 You're supposed to be my friend first."

 So I say,
 "Well then why did God give me this intense desire to be a mother,
 if I may never be? If that's not my plan?"
 BE very thoughtfully replies,
 "Well, just because you may never have biological children
 doesn't mean that those feelings are misplaced.
 Maybe your purpose for those feelings is to be a Sunday School teacher,
 and impact children that way,
 or maybe even adopt
 and change a child's life.
 God has a purpose for those feelings,
 even if we don't know them yet."

 Sometimes I think God gave me the husband he did to humble me.
 What an incredible teaching moment that was.
 And the first time that I had really seen my husband become the spiritual leader in our marriage like that.
 What a man I have.
 I never would have looked at those passages that way.
 I would have stayed stuck in my narrow-minded justifications of my anger and bitterness.

 I sat next to a blind man at the hospital today
 waiting on a prescription to be filled.
 We talked about church and God.
 How happy he was - and he was totally blind.
 Said he had hitch-hiked to get to his doctor's appointment,
 and it had taken him three rides.
 And to think I had never thanked God for the simplicity of my health.
 For my circumstances.
 For having a husband and a house and a car and the sight to drive it.

 This has truly been a humbling and teaching week for me.
 BE and I have decided to "date" again - 
 we're going to take Saturdays and do fun things.
 We have some plans for the next few weeks 
 and I'm pretty excited about that.
 A friend of mine who had struggled with conceiving
 told me to look at this situation as,
 "Who do you want to be when you get pregnant?"
 and that changed my perspective on everything.
 I want to be the best person/woman/wife/Christian/friend/daughter/sister that I can be.
 I need to work on myself first.
 And my marriage.
 And God will add in another when he knows I'm ready for it.
 This is my challenge,
 but I think I'm ready.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Totally New Tuesdays #6

UGHHH Blogger!
 I wrote up this whole post and apparently it never posted
 and didn't save.

 Well, better late than never I guess.
 So here goes again!
 This week I have an amazing lady to introduce you to!
 Her name is Kirstin and she is a military wife
 in the midst of finding encouragement during deployment.
 Her blog, The Johnston's ,  is inspirational,
 and I have really stopped and reflected myself as I have read her posts.
 She is a true follower of Christ!

 I will let her introduce herself a little better:
My name Kirstin Johnston. I am 19 years young & loving the life God gave me. I love to sing, shop, anything crafty, and to read. I am a girls girl, i love to get my nails done, i love clothes, shoes, and jewlery.I have always loved to write, journal, scrapbook, any sort of memory keeping activities. I don't think I have a lot of interesting things to say but you never know who is reading and who can relate to you. I married the man of my dreams on July 10, 2010. We met when I was 13 years old at church, his father is our pastor. We were best friends and began dating when I was 15. Since that day, we have been inseparable. We got married when I was 18 and he was 2 days away from being 20. We were told we were crazy and didn't know what we were getting into. But when you know you found the person God made for you, why wait? My husband is in the Army national guard and is currently deployed to Iraq. While deployment is one of the hardest things I've been through, I can honestly say I am thankful. I see the way God is using him as a witness to soldiers and it has only made me a stronger person. Deployment makes you appreciate your spouse so much more along with the little things, like being able to eat dinner together every night. I hope my blog is an encouragement to you, and maybe something I say puts a smile on your face ! 

 Her posts have certainly encouraged me,
 I hope you will go and show her the love,
 and give her some hope as she makes it through this deployment!!

Monday, September 19, 2011

And I'm The Only One

Yesterday was very surreal.
 I had a little group of girls
 Girls who were all trying for babies like me,
 girls who understood the sting of each month passing,
 girls who I could call and cry to.
 But now I'm the only one.
 All in a matter of two days.
 I woke up the other day
 and saw one of their announcements on Facebook.
 Then heard from a friend who is two weeks late
 and hasn't been feeling well.
 We all know what that means.
 Then I talked to a friend from college.
 They're prego too.
 So then through my tears,
 I sent a text to one of my best friends
 who has been trying as long as we have
 and said that now we were all that was left,
 but I bet she would be next since all of my other friends
 apparently were drinking some water I couldn't find.
 Sure enough,
 the reply came back.
 She had missed her period,
 but hadn't told me 
 because she knew how bad it would hurt.
 And just like that,
 I was alone.

 I know I can still talk to my friends,
 but I don't want to ruin their happiness
 by complaining about my problems.
 Here where we live
 I'm already that taboo 
 "girl who can't get pregnant,"
 you know, 
 the one that everyone talks about their babies and pregnancies around,
 and then suddenly remember is there
 and freak out like,
 oh crap, we just talked about that in front of her...
 then come the awkward questions about how trying is going.
Just because they don't know what else to say.
 And I don't blame them for that,
 because there really is nothing to say.
 Nothing that wouldn't be awkward anyway.
 And I don't want to be the pity-poor friend.

 It seems like it's either one end of the spectrum or the other.
 I've had people almost afraid to talk to me,
 avoiding the subject completely,
 and then there are the others
 who just call me a "whiner" and tell me that since I haven't been trying
 for X number of years like they have,
 or since I haven't been labeled unable to ever have children yet,
 then I need to just be quiet.
 but I must have missed the memo on when wanting a child
 and being unsuccessful
 turned into a one-up contest.
 I've talked to people who have only been trying for two or three months
 and I still feel for them.
 It doesn't mean you can't talk about your struggles
 just because you're not the person who has been struggling the longest.
 That's not what it's about.
 It's about encouraging each other
 and building each other up,
 and listening.
 I don't care how long you've been trying -
 I'll still talk to you about it,
 I'll still cry with you about it,
 and I'll still try to get through it beside you.
 So I've "only" been trying 6 months.
 It's still six months of a kind of heartache 
 that nothing else in the world can create inside you;
 it's still a terror that it may never happen.

 The best thing I have taken from this whole thing,
 is that my husband and I have grown so much closer.
 We are doing a new bible study together in the evenings,
 we are going out on dates,
 we are holding hands in the car,
 we are connecting emotionally.
 I sent him a message today thanking him for holding me while I cried yesterday
 as I absorbed what had happened.
 I told him that I was so thankful for his hugs and how he tries to understand.
 I told him that I guess if I'm not meant to have babies,
 at least I have a wonderful husband
 and that's more than a lot of women have.
 I also have some amazing women who have stepped up
 and really been my greatest encouragers.
So for now, 
 I'm focusing on what I do have.
 Enjoying my husband.
 Gearing up for my job.
 Going on adventures.
 and still praying.
 Good things come to those who wait - 
 whatever those good things may be.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Trooppaws Giveaway Winner!

Congratulations to...

She is the winner of my Trooppaws giveaway!
 I am so glad she won because she was a very faithful Tweeter!! 

 I am also very excited 
 because the husband and I are going to the Air Force ball tonight
 and it's always fun to get all gussied up
 and go out with friends,
 you know? :)

 Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend!!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

A Letter To Our Child

Dear baby,

 I wanted to write you a little something
 so that you know I think about you
 every second of the day.
 I see other children walking around,
 holding the hands of parents,
 and I wonder how it will feel 
 when you hold my hand.
 I look at your father
 and I wonder if you will have his gorgeous blue eyes
 and dark hair,
 or that one little dimple in his left cheek
 that I love so much.
 I wonder if you will be plagued with my curly hair - 
 and I wonder if you will embrace it
 or resign yourself to straightening it daily like I do.
 I wonder what your very first word will be. 
 I selfishly hope it's "mommy,"
 but I would be happy with it being anything really,
 unless it's "bye-bye" because you hear me have to say it to daddy more often than I would like.

 I was somewhere the other day
 and a small baby looked at me,
 and locked her eyes on me
 for a solid minute.
 It was the deepest stare I have ever experienced.
 And it was like she knew something I didn't.
 It was almost like it was you looking out at me from her eyes.
 It was like a small promise.

 It's been six long months now,
 a whole half a year of trying for you,
 of having dreams of being pregnant with you that I wake up from convinced they were real,
 of falling on my face alone in the living room and praying for you,
 begging God for you through my tears,
 of dealing with the pain of not understanding the plan,
 of hoping.
 I know that Heaven must be an amazing, beautiful place,
 and I know if I were you, I wouldn't want to leave it either.
 I bet Jesus gives great hugs.
 But I'd like to think I give good hugs too,
 and I can promise you that you will be the most loved child
 this Earth has ever seen.

 So do you think you could do mommy a favor,
 and talk to God
 and just let him know that we are ready for you,
 that we want you more than anything, 
 that we desire to raise you in a way that would make Him proud, 
 and that we don't want to wait anymore?

 In the meantime,
 we will keep on waiting,
 and praying,
 and dreaming,
 and hoping,
 and preparing for you.
 And I hope that you can feel our love all this space away,
 and that by the time you come to meet us,
 you will be as excited to be ours
 as we will to be yours.
 I love you already
 more than you'll ever know.


Monday, September 12, 2011

My September 11th Post

Ten Years Ago,

 People turned on their televisions in shock,
 Desperately tried to contact loved ones,
Ran to find safe places,
 Asked millions of questions,
Had hearts sink,
 Felt terror,
 Stood up,
 Vowed to fight,
 Ran to hang flags,
Thanked troops for their service,
 More proudly sang the National Anthem,
 Bonded as a country like never before.

This is one day where no one forgets why they say
 Freedom Isn't Free.
 I hope you flew your flag proudly
 and wore red, white, and blue.
 I hope you saw someone in uniform out in your community,
 and thanked them
 and their family.
 I hope you waved at a firetruck as it went by,
 and told a police officer you appreciated them.
 I hope you hugged your children a little tighter,
 and kissed your spouse an extra time
 before they went to work.
 I hope you said an extra long prayer over dinner,
 and called people you hadn't spoken to in a while
 just to say hi.
 I hope you were grateful for this country,
 and the fact that it doesn't rest until it can guarantee our safety.
 I hope you were grateful for life.

 We will NEVER forget.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

What's Your Song? and Giveaway!!

So most of you have been stopping by for

That I posted the other day :)

 Go check that out and win an Air Force or Army dog
 from Trooppaws!
 It has a place on the front of the dog for a picture of your spouse
 that I think is PERFECT for kids!
 Plus it is made out of uniform fabric
 and I just think that's really cool.

 I am also excited to share a super cool song with you.
Most people know Adele,
 but not many people have heard this particular song,
 but I love it!

Great beat,
 great words,
 gotta love it!

 I have also begun the Pinterest craze.
 How the heck have I lived this long
 and somehow missed this wonderful time-wasting goodness??????
My husband will probably think I died.
Oh well.
 Follow me HERE.
 You'd be the first.
 And there's gotta be something awesome about being FIRST, right?
 After all, if you're not first, 
 you're last.
 Or so they say.
 Whoever "they" are.
 That's enough rambling for tonight :)
 Go join in the giveaway entering!!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Totally New Tuesdays #5 and a Giveaway!

Hello everyone!!
 Welcome back :)

 Today I am featuring a new blogger
 who is looking to blogging as an outlet for all those roller coaster emotions we experience
 as military wives!
 You can find her blog, It Is What It Is!
 I think her wonderfully written intro says it all!
 "I'm in my late twenties (a couple years from entering the thirties, although I have toyed around with staying 29 for a while).  I married my hubs 6 years ago.  We first started out living in my hometown where I was a teacher and he was a mechanic.  He wasn't fulfilled with life and brought up the idea of him joining the Army (which I promptly shot down).  I finally gave in after he used his famous line, "You know hun if you wanted to do something drastic with your life I would support you 100%."  That really made me think and I said ok.  So for two years we have been an Army family.  Our family grew in June of 2010 when I gave birth (he was a surprise) to my son.  My little unexpected miracle has totally changed my life.  Because of Bubby (my son's nickname), I finally decided to join my husband at his duty station. I was one of those wives that chose my career over being located in the same place. After Bub was born I wanted to make sure that we are to never be apart (well other than when the Army says "Hey we need your hubby").  So I started my blog to help put my feelings out there.  I'm the type to keep everything to myself and well it's not healthy.  I'm still not strong enough to admit to a lot of things in person (or on my blog for that matter) but it seems to be easier to write cartain things.  I'm getting better at writing about my feelings, certain days my posts are not very deep (actually that's most days).  Some of my posts are negative and I'm working on that.  I'm working of finding all the positives that God has given to me (even in terrible things there is always a postive).  So my blog is my journy of feelings through reconnecting with myself, parenting, the army, a deployment, and everything else life throws at me (Hence the title of my blog "it is what it is!") Its my motto for accepting things that I can not change and finding the positives in the life that was given to me" 

Here is her super cute button :)
Go be her newest follower and show her some love!!

 Today I am beginning my first GIVEAWAY!!

 It is for one of these Adorable little dogs:
 from a wonderful company called Trooppaws!
 They make these dogs out of uniform material for all branches,
 and they have a pocket in the front for a picture of your significant other.
 The woman who began this company started out baking cookies for troops,
 and expanded into this idea.
 A portion of the proceeds from all sales go to the 
which I also encourage you to check out.

 So today, I have the privilege of hosting the giveaway
 for an Air Force or Army dog!
 I think this gift would be perfect
 especially if you have children.

 To Enter:
 1. Follow my blog
 2. "Like" my blog on Facebook HERE
3. "Like" Trooppaws on Facebook HERE
4. Visit their website HERE and comment on this post who you would give your dog to!
 5. Additional Entries: Tweet about this post (one tweet daily, one entry each time)
 6. Additional Entries: Tag my blog in a post about the giveaway on Facebook (one status daily, one entry each time)
7. Follow us on Twitter HERE
8. Leave one comment with your email address, so I can contact you if you win!

 If you already follow, or "like" me on Facebook, just leave a comment saying you already do, and that will count as your entry. 
 Leave a separate comment for EACH entry point you fulfill!
 The winner will be chosen randomly on Sept. 19!
 Good luck everyone :)

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Lee-Filled Labor Day

Hello loves :)

 First, I just want to say a big
 to everyone for the words of love and encouragement
 and congratulations
 I have received
 about my RN and my new job
 (my "yob" as BE likes to call it lol).
 I love the bloggy community
 and the military community
 because we ALWAYS support one another :)

 Also, I finally heard back from the business doing the giveaway,
 so that will be online this coming Tuesday :)
 You're gonna love it!!
(especially if you have kids!)

 In other news, 
 this is our life at the current moment:
lovely, right?
 It hasn't stopped raining for a solid day.
 Our dog
 who is a HUGE wuss,
 refuses to go pee when it's raining,
 so BE and I have been shoving him out the door cruelly
 all day.
 Then he stands there staring back at me like, "why, Mom??"
 But BE and I hit up some weekend sales
 and I am pleased to report that I have a few 
 new outfits to wear.
 One running jacket at Old Navy
 originally $44 rang up for $8!!!!
 Talk about making a girl smile.
 Also, so continues month 5 of baby trying.
 The closer we get to 6 months
 the more worried I get,
 mostly because it means we are that much closer to the dreaded 1 year mark
 and officially getting the "infertile" label.
 I don't know how I will take that.
 It's sad enough having seen almost half a year go by.
 My heart has definitely softened through this trial
 and I feel so much more for the women out there who already feel that pain.
 It really is terrifying to think it may never happen.
 And it gets frustrating,
 when you're "doing everything right"
 and somehow still missing it.
 Most of my friends who are pregnant are showing now,
 and that makes it harder I think.
 The whole Seeing What You Could Have thing.
 But hopefully God will be good to us this month.
 I've kind of been on a roll lately,
 so maybe he could just throw one more teensy weensy little thing in,
 what you think?? ;) 

 Everyone be safe and enjoy your long weekend!!!
 I know we will -
 starting with pizza and movie night
 and laying with the dog
 and listening to the rain :)

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Linkies and More News!

Well, I'm finally home at my computer
 on a Thursday
 to link up with 
for the What's Your Song? Link-up!

 I keep hearing songs on the radio these days
 and thinking,
 "Oh man, I should link that one up this week!"
 and then of course,
 inevitably forget lol

 But this week, I remembered!
 This is a new band
 I have told you guys about a little bit
 called The Dirty Guv'nahs,
 and BE and I are IN LOVE with them!!
 BE and I love dancing in the house to this song:

Also, I encourage you all to go to their facebook page
and download the WHOLE new album for FREE!!!
 Listen to the song "Courage".
 BE and I have decided that this song will be played at our funerals.
 It's absolute beauty.
 And I cry every time I hear it.

I'm a little frustrated,
 because the company that told me they would do a giveaway for me
 asked me to simply tell them the dates it will run
 so they can advertise it.
 Well I sent them an email a while ago,
 and not a single soul has gotten back to me via email or facebook.
 And that kind of ticks me off.
 Because I don't want to run this,
 and then not have the winner ever get their prize.
 So if they ever get back to me,
 I will run the giveaway.
 But in fairness to readers,
 I don't want to do it unless I know the company will deliver,
 and right now they're not seeming like I can trust them to do that.

 On a good note, though,
 there was totally a huge rainbow this morning
 and I could see BOTH ENDS from my driveway!
 It must have been God's way of saying,
 "Go get 'em, girl!!"
 Because after only 30 minutes in my interview this morning,
 I was offered a job!!
 And one with the opportunity to cross train to different areas :)
 I am so blessed!!