How To "Date" Your Own Husband

So this past week has been pretty rough.

 But it's also been pretty darn great.

 This might be a long post,

 so grab your pumpkin spice latte

 (come on, we all know you've already caved this season)

 and curl up.

 I was not a Christian before I met my husband.

 I attended church,

 even taught Sunday School,

 but was not truly a Christian.

 My husband always has been.

 The night before he left for Officer Training School

 he got re-baptized with me

 just the two of us at our church.

 It was the first for me.

 Since then, I have struggled.

 Struggled to maintain and even grow my faith,

 especially when I thought OTS was going to rip my marriage clean in two

 (and which it very nearly did)

 mostly because of my bad attitude. 

 When he left for the second time,

 it was better.

That time, I didn't blame him.

 Even when I dropped him off at the airport

 and on the way home my very faithful car died in the middle of the street.

 Or the next day when I thought I accidentally forgot the parking break on his mustang

 and was sure it had rolled back into our garage door,

 which was why it wasn't opening.

 And my keys were now locked inside

 because of course the garage door keypad had gone haywire.

 And I called a locksmith

 who took an hour to get into my house.

 And when I then tried to re-enter my garage code,

 and the door opened right up.

 Yep, not even then.

 And then we started trying for a baby,

 and that's been a less than perfect journey.

 But we decided to take some time out of his incredibly busy schedule

 and do a Bible study together

 for the first time.

 Our AMAZING friends/neighbors gave us Fireproof.

 We watched the movie and did week one's lesson.

 I didn't realize my husband was this smart.

 Let me elaborate

 (before you think I'm a total jerk).

 Being a new Christian,

 I suffer from interpreting the Bible EXTREMELY literally.

 And I often way way way get it wrong.

 We were instructed by the study to read a passage,

 the one that talks about how God knows every hair on your head and knew you when you were being formed in your mother's womb;

 how we were fearfully and wonderfully made.

 Well, I turned to BE in a fit of residual baby-anger

 and said,
"Well, see, women were meant to have babies. Otherwise Adam wouldn't have needed Eve.

 So if a woman can't have a baby,

 then obviously God messed up.

 If we are all made in His image,

 none of us should be messed up.

 So that doesn't even make sense."

 To which my wonderful husband replied,

 "No, no. You're missing the point.

 Women were made to be companions -

 the man was not supposed to be lonely,

 so God made him a helper, a friend, a companion.

 You're supposed to be my friend first."

 So I say,

 "Well then why did God give me this intense desire to be a mother,

 if I may never be? If that's not my plan?"

 BE very thoughtfully replies,

 "Well, just because you may never have biological children

 doesn't mean that those feelings are misplaced.

 Maybe your purpose for those feelings is to be a Sunday School teacher,

 and impact children that way,

 or maybe even adopt

 and change a child's life.

 God has a purpose for those feelings,

 even if we don't know them yet."

 Wow.

 Sometimes I think God gave me the husband he did to humble me.

 What an incredible teaching moment that was.

 And the first time that I had really seen my husband become the spiritual leader in our marriage like that.

 What a man I have.

 I never would have looked at those passages that way.

 I would have stayed stuck in my narrow-minded justifications of my anger and bitterness.

 I sat next to a blind man at the hospital today

 waiting on a prescription to be filled.

 We talked about church and God.

 How happy he was - and he was totally blind.

 Said he had hitch-hiked to get to his doctor's appointment,

 and it had taken him three rides.

 And to think I had never thanked God for the simplicity of my health.

 For my circumstances.

 For having a husband and a house and a car and the sight to drive it.

 This has truly been a humbling and teaching week for me.

 BE and I have decided to "date" again - 

 we're going to take Saturdays and do fun things.

 We have some plans for the next few weeks 

 and I'm pretty excited about that.

 A friend of mine who had struggled with conceiving

 told me to look at this situation as,

 "Who do you want to be when you get pregnant?"

 and that changed my perspective on everything.

 I want to be the best person/woman/wife/Christian/friend/daughter/sister that I can be.

 I need to work on myself first.

 And my marriage.

 And God will add in another when he knows I'm ready for it.

 This is my challenge,

 but I think I'm ready.

 

I Believe In Auburn, AND LOVE IT!!

So yesterday was one of my proudest days!! I can't thank everyone enough for the support they have shown me for my graduation! On Sunday afternoon I was pinned by the faculty, and "officially" graduated from the nursing program, which was super emotional, especially since it was Mother's Day, and my mother was sobbing because she had always wanted to be a nurse but had never gotten the opportunity to go to college and instead had my little brother and I. Plus, I was also the first girl on either side of my family to go to college!! In my little speech, I got to credit her for my success since she had stayed at home with me until I was school-aged, and then has been my biggest supporter throughout the huge stress that is nursing school. She cried and cried and later gave me a hug and whispered "Every mother always wants to see her children do better than she did, and today you have done what I could never do, what no woman in our family has ever been able to do." I also got a card from my dad, who is very quiet, and who I spent my whole school career working my butt off in the hopes of getting more than a simple, "Good" from, and the card was so long and actually said the words "I'm very proud of you." I instantly burst into tears. It was the affirmation and praise I'd been dreaming of my whole life.

Then, the next morning (WAY too early, I might add) BE and I got up to head back to Auburn from our hotel so that we could get a good parking spot, and so my parents, grandparents, and godparents could all find good seats since we graduated in the football stadium. This, I thought, was going to be an awesome idea. However, it wasn't and whoever decided to make graduation right in the middle of the day in an open stadium in Alabama should be fired. It hit 90 degrees very early on, and it was terrible for those of us in our heavy black gowns. And of course, the school of nursing was second to last, so we were there the whole time. People were passing out left and right, and EMT's were coming around distributing water and telling people to leave after they got their diploma and walked across the stage! Luckily my family had brought umbrellas and lots of Gatorade. But man was it hot! It was so good though to see them cheering and so happy!! Plus, BE got to be there and I am BEYOND THANKFUL for that!! Especially since more training looms here soon. But it was important to me that he was there to share in my success that he encouraged me through and God made sure he was, and that's a great thing :)

In Need of Blogosphere Besties

So this is my first ever blog about my life (I have one that I list family recipes on) and I'm nervous! Will people like me? Do people care? Will I really connect with others who I can relate to? I hope so! I had to be back up in Auburn for a week to do a mandatory review course for NCLEX (the nursing exam to get your license) and I'm not gonna lie... listening to the same woman drone on to me for 8 hours each day for 3 days when I have the book in front of me that word for word lists everything she's saying (gotta love scripts!) and am perfectly capable (I'm pretty sure) of reading it for myself, is driving me INSANE. Especially since BE leaves for IFS soon and I am wasting precious time!!! Sometimes everyday life really gets in the way, doesn't it? I knew I was a dependent person before the whole military thing, but ever since he was gone at OTS I've realized just how absolutely pathetically dependent I really am.

On a happier note, we finally have all of our pictures up and it finally feels like home! We are really enjoying life in the Sunshine State and I think BE is finally figuring out how to get around town. We had about 16 people over for Easter, and it was wonderful!! It was the first holiday I've ever spent away from my parents and grandparents so it was nice to have a full house. I cooked a 12-pound ham (I know!) and everyone brought things that were common at gatherings with their family, so we ended up with tons of great food! We are really blessed to have such a great Air Force family stationed with us down here that we can share such an important occasion with!! Because the real reason for Easter is CHRIST, as much as I do LOVE those Cadbury eggs.... but Jesus' sacrifice to face a horrible death so that we could all be saved despite our sins (of which I know I am grateful!) gives me SO much hope. Especially as a military wife, I know I am grateful every day that BE encouraged me in my faith and that we grow stronger in it as a couple every day, because I know that despite anything this world or this military life can throw at us, we will be together in the end because God triumphed!! And how incredibly comforting is that?? God is so, so good, ya'll :)